Postnatal Support
Just a snapshot of my clients in the last two months, giving an idea of what having a postnatal doula can look like
I arrive, Sarah can barely open her eyes, she hands me little Archie and immediately goes back to bed. I rock, sing, and pace the living room for the next two hours as this seems the only way he’ll settle. Sarah has been doing this all night and feeling desperate for a break.
I knock on the door, Maz is on the sofa with 4 day old Maya. She’s beaming and has that amazing mixture of looking exhausted and yet full of life. I make her a cup of tea and cut her a slice of the banana bread I’ve made, we sit on the sofa and she gets to her list of questions…
“How do I know Maya is getting enough milk? How can I safely fall asleep at night if she wants to be next to me the whole time? How do I find a local first aid course to brush up my knowledge? How do I best recover from birth - be active? be restful?” … and they keep coming…
So we discuss, I answer where I can, and signpost to other sources of information and advice. We chat and laugh and I listen to her worries and hopes, how she’s currently loving it, but feeling like she has so much to learn.
I get a phone call whilst I’m out, I can’t easily understand what is being said through the tears. Roni is saying she just needs some help, she’s had her baby last week and doesn’t feel she’s coping. Her friend recommended she called me, could I come sometime soon??
I move things around and get there that afternoon. She is suffering with birth trauma, feeding issues, and bonding with her baby. She doesn’t know where to turn and is associating her midwives with her traumatic birth so scared to turn to them.
I listen, listen, and listen some more. I put the kettle on and chop her a fruit salad. I hold her baby whilst she goes to have a shower. I signpost and discuss places she could go for the different issues she is battling.
I turn up and the toddler is having a meltdown. Sian looks at me as if to say this is a common occurrence nowadays. She asks if I would hold 2 week old Poppy so she can actually spend some time with her 2yr old in another room. After an hour I go in as Poppy is ready for a feed, and Sian says this feels like the first time she’s had a calm toddler since Poppy was born. After the feed I take Poppy again so that Sian can make lunch with her older one and actually eat it with both hands.
I get out my car early on a rainy Monday morning, Caroline had her baby 2 days ago and got home yesterday. She’s already feeling a bit overwhelmed by the amount of conflicting advice she received in the hospital and she’s had her mother in law on the phone this morning telling her theres no point feeding round the clock and it’s never too early for a routine….
We talk about the current evidence and official advice for feeding and safe sleep. I explain the beauty of listening to your own intuition and not the general noise, and I see her relax before me.
I’m there for 3 feeds so we try a few different positions and I help her work on getting a good latch right from the beginning.
Before I leave I make Caroline lunch and hold magical little Oscar whilst she showers and blow drys her hair. We talk about her wonderful birth experience and how empowered she felt, and I watch her face simply light up with the amount she is impressed with her life birthing abilities!
I meet Natalie at the doctors surgery, she’s extremely nervous about vaccinations and as someone who suffers with needle phobia, she asked me to accompany her to the 8 week appointment and hold Harry for her. We have been talking about it for the last couple of weeks and have done some work together on releasing the fears making it all feel so stressful.
As soon as I take Harry, she relaxes, but manages to stay right there when they give the injections which she wasn’t sure she’d be able to do. It’s over in seconds and she takes him for a feed, although it looks like the comforting is very much a two way process.
I’m here for our last session of our 3 months together, it’s bittersweet as so much has already changed. Today Stacey asks all the remaining questions, the tips for activities now that Jude is more alert, the worries about her postpartum sex and relationship life, the suggestions for sleep support now that it seems to have changed again.
She uses this last opportunity for a rest, whilst I play with Jude on the mat and marvel at how much he’s changed already.
We have lunch together and laugh a lot, reminding me how comfortable we are in eachothers company and how precious this time has been.
We say goodbye, and watching Stacey and Jude together, thinking of the last few months, my heart is full.